Roy Masters: Judging Others

Roy Masters: Judging Others

John Fonte -- Why There Is A Culture War: Gramsci and Tocqueville in America

John Fonte -- Why There Is A Culture War: Gramsci and Tocqueville in America

Cultural Marxism

Cultural Marxism

Why do we fall out of love?

When we fall in love with someone our whole world seems somehow brighter, and as the songs say, the birds sing sweeter and the everything in the garden is rosy. We get all goose bumpy and can't wait to see that special someone, and really hate it when we are apart. We are somehow glued to each other, and it all seems wonderful and you want it to last forever. You hang on each others words, and have perhaps frequent and fulfilling sex. All of the above are seen as completely natural and so sought after that practically everyone wants this romantic and beautiful experience. If this is what love is supposed to be then why doesn't it last?, and when all these strong emotions have run their course what is left.? Some say that once romantic love subsides then true love really kicks in, and in a sense this is true. But why is it then that the divorce rate in most western countries has been rising steadily year on year?. Also if people were honest many of the marriages that do last are in a state of open or secret hostility, that stumble from one arguement to another. The man is on the golf course at weekends, or down at the pub, anywhere than were he should be. The woman resents this, and usually takes her frustrations out on the kids, or she like her man, leaves the kids with her mother, and takes herself off so spend time with her friends ,and they all swap stories about their selfish husbands. If they do spend quality time with the family many tensions rise, because mostly it is done out of duty and not real love. Couples that are at war with each other, are at war with themselves as well. All of this tension and secret hostility effects the children, and sets them on the path for their own troubled adult lives. Surley a happy marriage would mean that when not earning the essential income for the family, that the couple would want to spend every available minute with their loved ones? Why is it then, that romantic love doesn't last?

Are we really in control of ourselves?

Are we really in control of ourselves? This seems like a strange question i know, and most would answer, 'of course I am, who else could i be'? But if we look closer, and do a bit of self examination, then we might discover something about ourselves that we never knew. If anyone can make you angry, then what they are actually doing is controling you with your own anger. Whenever we use this strong emotion by reacting to the words, of actions of another, we are actually handing over control of ourselves to them. Or perhaps a better way to put it is, we are being 'tempted' by the words or actions to react to them, and this makes us angry. When this common emotional experience occurs, it really is yet another opportunity to grow in character, but whenever we 'lose it' and are out of control, then 'something' is in control of us. We then forget that we have 'failed' yet again to understand this, and use anger, which is an emotion that enables us to think that we perfectly justified in acting like this. and we will always excuse our wrong. When we are externally motivated people, we can only react in this way to any perceived slight, rudeness, and irritation, with the emotion of anger, and with each upset, big or small, we steadily become more and more aware of the imperfections of others, and less and less aware of our own, why do we need to live like this i wonder?

Why to the words and opinions of others hurt us?

If we were completely secure in ourselves, so much so that we had total and unshakable belief in what we knew, and who we were, then why would the opinions and harsh criticisms of others bother us? Why are we so insecure,and need to be supported by another emotionally? If we truely need something from another, and by this i mean anything that gives us a sense of completion and security, and if we rely on this, so that without it we would be somehow weakened, and feel vulnerable, or unloved, then how can we think that we are whole person ? All emotional support that we need from others, is a compensation for our lack of self belief. To really understand the meaning of what it means to have love, we cannot need emotional love from another. To give offer anything of worth, and lasting value, in a loving and deep sense, one has to be full, and whole. How can a pauper give of his riches, if he has not a penny to his name? It is the same with us, when we think that we love. But unless we come from a place within ourselves where love reigns, then what we give is nothing. We actually need from others, the very things that supports the illusion that we have self worth, we need ego support to continue in this backwards way of life. Once one understands this, life becomes so much easier.