Are we really in control of ourselves?

Are we really in control of ourselves? This seems like a strange question i know, and most would answer, 'of course I am, who else could i be'? But if we look closer, and do a bit of self examination, then we might discover something about ourselves that we never knew. If anyone can make you angry, then what they are actually doing is controling you with your own anger. Whenever we use this strong emotion by reacting to the words, of actions of another, we are actually handing over control of ourselves to them. Or perhaps a better way to put it is, we are being 'tempted' by the words or actions to react to them, and this makes us angry. When this common emotional experience occurs, it really is yet another opportunity to grow in character, but whenever we 'lose it' and are out of control, then 'something' is in control of us. We then forget that we have 'failed' yet again to understand this, and use anger, which is an emotion that enables us to think that we perfectly justified in acting like this. and we will always excuse our wrong. When we are externally motivated people, we can only react in this way to any perceived slight, rudeness, and irritation, with the emotion of anger, and with each upset, big or small, we steadily become more and more aware of the imperfections of others, and less and less aware of our own, why do we need to live like this i wonder?